I run a Facebook group for all the entrepreneurs in the Invincible Robots community.  There are a lot of people in the group from all over the world. Having run this group for nearly a year, I’ve learned some valuable lessons about community.  One of the big lessons is the value of being a great community member to get the best results for your business.   On the flip side, I’ve seen what doesn’t work.  There are just some things you should never do in an online community. Let me demonstrate with examples.

People request to join the group daily.  The group admins and I nearly always accept them (The exception is profiles with 1 picture, no friends, etc.  In other words, Spam accounts ). As people join the group, I see how they introduce themselves and interact with members.  I have noticed the right way and the wrong way to do it.  I’m using my Facebook group as an example, but it’s the same everyone on social media and even in real life.

Here’s the wrong way to interact:

Hey everyone! Great group here.  I sell sunglasses.  They're the best sunglasses you've ever seen.  100% guaranteed. Movies stars wear my sunglasses. Go to my website and use promo code "loudmouth" and get 25% off!  Here's the link www.annoyingsunglasses.com.

So you can see how annoying that is, but for some reason people think this is effective.  I surmise it stems from the old days of SEO where pasting your link everywhere was the way to get traffic.  Those days, my friends, are long gone, but some people aren’t up with the times.  In modern times, where most of us live, engagement is what matters.  More on that in a second.

Here’s the second worst way to interact:

I call this the sneaky promo.  It comes from people who pretend to be contributing and engaging, but all they really want is to sell you something immediately.

Hi! I'd really like your opinion on my website.  I sell sunglasses and am looking for some feedback.  Just go to my site, sign up for my newsletter, register for the site and maybe buy some sunglasses.  Then tell a friend.  I want to make the site better.  Looking forward to hear what you think. www.sneakysunglasses.com

See how sneaky that was?  He just wants some honest feedback, right?  He pretended to care and to engage, but in reality he just wants your sale.

Or how about this automated DM that we all get every day on Twitter:

Thanks for the follow. Your look like a really cool person.  Please like my Facebook page and download my ebook: www.memememe.me/ebookaboutme

Anyone with half a brain is insulted by such automated interaction that pretends to be genuine.  I’m not even joking.  I get DMs all the time that say they like my site or my style or something and it’s obvious it was automated.  Immediate turn off and punch in the face!

There’s nothing wrong with automation, but there is everything wrong with using automation to fake interest and connection.

So what’s the right way to approach it?  Start by actually providing value.  Get to know people. Read their profiles and posts.  Visit their websites.  Send them a message.  Reply to their messages.

The rules for social interaction haven’t changed just because there is a computer screen in the middle.  Treat people like people; build genuine relationships and the sales may come. Even if they don’t, you’ve made some friends and can sleep at night because you’re not “that” guy.